Posted by: Mike James | August 8, 2009

Knuckle Ball Sandwich

Former baseball pitcher David Wells is the most famous person from Ocean Beach. He is also prime example of the popular adage: you can take the boy out of O.B., but you can’t take the O.B. out of the boy. (o.k. I coined the adage.) He was always considered a non-conformist in the baseball world.  Growing up with the San Diego Chapter of the Hells Angels cheering you on at Little League games, would give you a different perspective.

If you want to learn about David I suggest you get his book: Perfect I’m Not : Boomer on Beer, Brawls, Backaches, and Baseball.

My story takes place in January 1997. David was in town to attend his beloved mother Annie’s funeral.

Last call for alcohol.

When in town, David always traveled with his Point Loma posse. These were guy he grew up with, guys he went to high school with.

It was 1:30 in the morning, David Wells and his entourage were cruising O.B. in his Lincoln Town Car. Parking in the Hodad’s side lot, the crew got out to make a quick brewskis run to the corner market. They thought it would be so quick they left the car running with its doors wide-open.

Meanwhile Cheswick regulars, Armand and Steve, were just completing an evening of barhopping and were on their way home. Spotting the unattended car in the lot, they thought this was the funniest thing they ever saw. To add to the drunken hilarity, Steve decided to turn off the car and put the keys under the seat.

A homeless person watching from a dark corner was thinking he was glad to be schizoid, not crazy like all these other dudes.

As David and one of his buddies neared the car they noticed it was no longer running, looking in they saw no keys.

The homeless guy pointed down the alley and yelled something incoherent. Understanding, David and his friend ran down the alley.

Spotting Armand and Steve across the street they ran until they were face to face with the key suspects. “Hey, where’s my f@**ing keys, David snarled.

“Keys, I don’t know anything about any stinking keys” Armand replied unconvincingly.

Just then the rest of David’s gang came flying around the corner.

Feeling like a cornered rat, Armand took the first swing.

Fistsicuffs ensued.

Boom.

ALL’S WELLS THAT ENDS WELLS

David “Boomer” Wells had just received a multi-million dollar contract from his new team the New York Yankees.  Now he would have to explain to George Steinbrenner how he broke his pitching hand.

Armand thought he deserved some of that contract, being it was his face that David broke his hand on.

David was able to pitch for the Yankees, his perfect game only a year away. (He was the second of only three Yanks to pitch one, the first was also a Point Loma High graduate, Don Larsen.)

Armand stuck-out in his lawsuit and never saw a dime.

Moral of the story: Don’t slowdown if your heading for home.

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